"i am accused of tending to the past," Lucille Clifton

ORIGINAL:
i am accused of tending to the past
as if i made it,
as if i sculpted it
with my own hands. i did not.
this past was waiting for me
when i came,
a monstrous unnamed baby,
and i with my mother’s itch
took it to breast
and named it
History.
she is more human now,
learning languages everyday,
remembering faces, names and dates.
when she is strong enough to travel
on her own, beware, she will.

MY VERSION:
he has overcome many things
as if he wasn’t going to make it,
as if he was going to give up
with much struggle, he did not.
this success was waiting for him
when i came,
a beautiful unnamed baby,
that i just had to pick up
and couldn’t let go
until i finally named it
Noel.
he is more aware now,
learning new things everyday,
remembering formulas, vocab and dates.
when he is strong and through with college
and is on his own, beware, because he will
make a difference, and be successful.

I really liked this poem, but I had no idea how I would analyze this poem, so instead I took the same structure and decided to write my own poem in the same kind of style. I really liked how Clifton decided to personify history and through her poem kind of foreshadow what would happen if History decided to take her own course. In my poem however, I did not personify a certain object or idea, I instead talked about Noel and how he has overcome many obstacles in his life and will continue to do so until he goes to college and graduates so that his younger siblings are given a role model to follow and he can help out his parents. I really liked the end product and hope that others will feel the same way.