ORIGINAL
Tears fall in my heart
Rain falls on the town;
what is this numb hurt
that enters my heart?
Ah, the soft sound of rain
on roofs, on the ground!
To a dulled heart they came,
ah, the song of the rain!
Tears without reason
in the disheartened heart.
What? no trace of treason?
This grief's without reason.
It's far the worst pain
to never know why
without love or disdain
my heart has such pain!
She’s in pain now!
Here I just lay
Rain falls on the field;
why not just play
instead of stopping to yield?
Ah, the soft sound of pain
she got what she deserved!
She shouldn’t of put strain
on my leg, so now she’s in pain!
Tears without reason
I know I feel hurt
What? no trace of bruising
I am so scared of losing
She shouldn’t of put strain
on my leg
so now we’re both in pain
during this, my last soccer game
I really enjoyed reading this poem when I was looking for a poem to present. I decided to present the other one, so I wanted to do a journal on this one. I did not know how I would analyze this poem to, or what I would compare it to, so I decided to instead write my own version of the poem. Although the speaker of the poem has no idea why he’s in pain, in my poem I do have the source to my pain, and it is that I got hurt in a soccer game, and I was laying down in the rain waiting for someone to help me off of the field. Although my poem and Verlaine’s do not focus on the same subject, I tried to write my poem in the same structure as he did, although it got lost in the last stanza because I couldn’t think of anything that rhymed with leg.
****interesting fact to the original poem: this poem was written by Paul Verlaine while he was in jail for killing his partner.
Friday, February 16, 2007
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2 comments:
hahahaha wow laura that is so funny. ANyways this poem really reflects who you are at least when it comes to soccer. I feel sorry for the girl who messed up your leg. ANwyays i really like the rhyming in your poem you did a really good job with that. Ive never read a soccer poem before so this is my first time reading one. I see you more as the luvvi dubbi poem type of person so this is a surprise although i know your a lilttle violent when it comes to playing soccer.
I liked the way you analyzed the poem and created your own meaningful master piece. You are a very creative person. And I like the way you went beyond the norms of just writing the poem; you spent extra time to get some back ground information on the author. I feel like I take the same approach as you do when writing a poem in response to another poem, I can never really relate to the author’s message enough to make a clear connection. But I do have the ability to create poems with similar structures and the same dept of meaning. Basically keep up the good work.
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